whitetwoguns | But I ain't no madman.

[Naturally all eyes go to the TV. The glow it gives off seems to give off a light stronger than it ever had to begin with.]

...You hear that?

[To Freddy. Because...yeah. There's a voice coming through the screen. The snow is jumping all over the place.]

Pink? What the fuck is going on?

[One of those swipes manages to cut Freddy across the back of his hand. The cat goes free without losing one of its nine lives but not without a split second snarl from the kid, something ferocious and almost foaming, but then the moment's gone.]

Son of a bitch. [He shakes his cut hand out. Nothing deep--ooooookay. He saw this movie.] Poltergeist.

[Wait.] Pink? Pink that you? You motherfucker! [He goes to the TV and gives the thing a thumb from his boot.] What the fuck's goin' on!

[There's silence]

Holy shit you can hear me?

I've only been trying to tell you I'm here!

[Lies but whatever]

[Somehow Larry knows Freddy's cut without looking. Well, the cat is pretty much one of the most awful animals in the City in his book. It has an attitude to match Pink's.]

Yeah we can hear you. You been fucking with us this whole damn time?

[He shouts at the TV. Regrets are at a zero.]

We been looking all over for you. What the fuck happened.

[Poltergeist is just a movie. At least that's what the old man has been telling himself. A movie like the kind of a horror show they saw at that house? Larry holsters his gun.]

[Another thump to the TV set, not hard enough to knock it an inch of course.]

Why the fuck are you in a TV, asshole.

[Freddy holsters his gun too but only a moment after Larry does.] You rig up some fancy surveillance shit?

[Are you kidding.]

No, I've been trying to tell you I'm right here.

Right next to the sofa.

[Glance at the TV. Glance at the sofa.]

I can't see you.

[Which doesn't exactly mean that Pink ain't there. Larry rubs the back of his head.]

...that doesn't explain what the fuck is up here. Quit playing games.

Bullshit nothin's there.

[And to prove it Freddy moves on to walk right through Pink. This might feel weird.]

Sorry I don't have control of my poltergeist shit yet, I'll try harder to master this crap so you don't shit your pants, White.

[Hey. What are you doin-what are you doing]

Stop that!

[A paw darts out to grab Freddy to pull him away. The way Pink speaks with such conviction confirms all those bad feelings.]

Are you dead then?

[He's about to say shit like that just doesn't happen except they're not in their normal world. Shit happens. Weird, weird shit. And it still is a shocker.]

[Blaughrugajdgkgkdejsdfsl mommy. Oh okay daddy will do. Er, that is, Mr. White will do. Freddy's already rubbing himself down trying to shake off the heebie jeebies when Larry pulls him away.]

Jesus Christ. [Shuddderrrrrrrrr.] Who the fuck killed you man?

Mr. Orange just touched my fucking ass.

[YES HE SOUNDS GRUMPY. The lights do a weird flickering thing]

Fuck if I know. One second I was getting ready to go out and the next I was walking through walls.

[That makes three of them, grumpy as can be. Larry knew it was gonna be a rough evening. This though?

Huff.]

Yeah well, not like he can see where the fuck he's going.

[Freddy would not want to touch Pink's ass. He's seen the guy. This is the only circumstance he'd do so.]

Fuck man. Must be a curse.

[Pat, pat on the kid to make sure none of that rubbed off on him.]

Hell of a time for it to go down.

[Say...if Pink can talk through the TV maybe he can talk through the network device.]

Mr. Pink just iced my fucking balls. [He points in the...general vicinity at Pink. Huff huff puff. He's sticking close to Larry's side now.]

If you didn't get shot in the face or whatever then I'm callin' this bullshit a fuckin' curse. [Nose rub, sigh. Wait.] How the fuck did you move the whole fuckin' couch?

[The TV flickers as if thinking, and the couch moves back]

I kind of just thought about it.

[Woah. Woah. The old man is there to shuffle both of them out of the couches way.]

If you can do that how come you can't think yourself into just showing up, huh?

[Larry on the other hand is a little less of a skeptic at this point. Maybe it's because of the other night. Or maybe it's because he wants this shit to end. If it means believing in Pink's mumbo jumbo then oh well.

Paw rubs on Freddy's leg. That's gonna need to be investigated.]

Whoa.

[Shuffled back. Oh heeeeeeeeeelllllllllll no. A telekinetic Pink? That spells trouble. At least he hasn't tried to make all the bullets in their guns go off. He's not such a bad guy, just a paranoid kind of guy. Uh, right?]

Maybe you got a body somewhere...swapped or somethin' you know?

[That's called an out of body experience, Newendyke. Freddy's really just trying to think back on all other possibilities. The other option is to simply fucking ride it out. He doesn't protest the leg rubbing either, as long as it's not Pink doing it.]

I've been a ghost for a fucking hour, White, cut me some slack.

[He's thinking he's thinking about appearing....and nothing. But the mirror in the hallway shows him for a quick second before he vanishes]

I don't think it works that way.

Long enough to move couches. [We all know it's there but he still gestures to it.] Long enough to go slamming doors.

[No sympathy from the old man right about now, Pink.]

Good to know you're still here at least.

[Like car keys. It's a necessity.]

Guess we'll take a rain check or something.

Whoa. Did you fuckin' see that?

[Oh God don't hate him, White, but the kid's suddenly interested in Pink's side of the whole affair. He caught that flash of a reflection in the mirror.]

Shit so it ain't a swap. That's fucking unreal.

[Now he's looking for the weasel's device.] Talk into this.

For fuck's sake it was an accident!

[The lights flicker more, because fuck you, White. Also the drawers and cabinets open.

Luckily he manages to calm down a little. The TV turns off, and there's silence, and then there's snowy static on the comm device. Pink's voice is tinny and smaller.]

Hello?

[He's looking all around at that. Those are accidents too? Seems like every time the guy flips his shit something happens. It's like some invisible Hulk.]

That works too. We can hear you.

[Not perfectly but he's there.]

Hey hey chill the fuck out man, don't shit a brick.

[Or you know, pop one from the walls right into Freddy's face. Damn. Oh but look now the device has a cool feeling to it and the screen brightens like it's being used even though Orange hasn't touched a single button.]

Wow. [Right into his hoodie pocket the device goes.] See anything?

[There's a pause.....and then.]

You've got twenty six cents and a cigarette.

You feel differently?

[Woah. Shit. Good thing that wasn't one of the old man's pockets. The one that has lube in it. Awkward. Well, they are going in that direction. Maybe not to night after all but...heh.]

That's a pretty fucking neat trick.

[He'll agree to that.]

But I ain't no madman.

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