But I ain't no madman.

[whitetwoguns]

"Sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a nice day."

PHONE CALLS
VOICEMAIL
TEXT
EMAIL
ACTION

Comments

[whitetwoguns]

[Grumble. Grumble. No longer snoring like a sleeping bear. Damn. That body is fucking boney.

One big paw feels over a mustache.

What. The. Fuck. Pink.]

Jesus fucking Christ.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[He manages not to scream or yell. Instead he stares and finally says:]

What the fuck are you doing in my be....

[And his gaze goes to their hands. The most evil of things is on his left wrist.

The handcuff.]

[whitetwoguns]

[Yeah? Well, someone had to. Fuck in a bed of all places? What the shit is all of---okay, okay. Play it cool Dimick. You can do that. It's a curse.

And those are cuffs that make Larry's right arm pull to the weasel-like gentleman.]

You gotta be fucking kidding me.
[A nice, shiny pair of cuffs and beyond it a Mr. Pink who's not a rosy sight to see when waking up.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[He is not looking down. He is not. Looking. Down.]

You better be wearing pants, White.

[whitetwoguns]

Of course I'm wearing pants. [Tonight.] It's winter. Shit. Are you decent? [And hell if he is going to check the same of Mr. Pink. He can live his whole life happily without seeing it.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

I'm wearing boxers and that's good enough for now.

[He rubs his eyes with his other hand]

Shit. What the fuck is this?

[whitetwoguns]

Still nothing I'd like to see.

[Honestly!]

Fuck if I know I was going to ask you the same damn question.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

I'm giving you the benefit of the fucking doubt that this wasn't your bright idea.

[He sits up a bit]

Can we at least get out of my bed? This is fucking creepy.

[whitetwoguns]

Why the fuck would I want to do anything like that.

[With. Pink. Sitting up, Larry shakes his head. You ain't my type.Getting out of bed starts out rough from the get go. Reflexively, he tries to get out on his side of the bed. YANK.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[YANKED]

For fuck's sake I said I didn't think it was you!

[whitetwoguns]

[Whoops.]

I know. That there was an accident.

[So. They'll have to get out of the same side of the bed. Dandy.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[He settles pretty quickly and goes to get up on the White side, this time]

Shit, how the fuck are we supposed to manage everything?

[There's a pair of pants on the floor, he manages to grab them]

This is like a buddy comedy gone wrong.

[whitetwoguns]

[Lucky for White because he was almost there anyway.]

Fuck if I know.

[Can't even properly get a shirt on, this'll be as good as it gets. Fuck. And it's cold out.]

You ever get a saw or anything? A hammer?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Pink has to consider this for a second. His saw is in the same location as one of the diamond boxes, in a homemade space above his refrigerator. The cat likes to chill out on the top of the fridge]

I got a saw. In the kitchen.

[He can get it without White seeing the box]

[whitetwoguns]

Good. Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Let's get it.

[Okay, to the kitchen then. Sorry Pink if it ends up you might be gettin' dragged.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Pink is dragged, and he doesn't look happy, but whatever. When they get there Pink's cat comes up to say hello to White and Pink leads him to the fridge]

Okay, you just...wait here for a second.

[whitetwoguns]

Wait where? We're pretty damn close.

[Oh shit. Cat cat cat. Larry tries to side step and still gets rubbed up against. It makes his skin want to crawl.


Which drives him to fall in closer to Pink.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Pink has long limbs, and he's sort of reaaaaaching to get one hand up to displace the fake ceiling, when the cat rubs closer, and Pink stumbles, and the saw comes tumbling down on top of the fridge.

With the box on top]

[whitetwoguns]

Ever hear of a tool chest?

[And the saw doesn't look that special. Naturally it's the box that's worth hiding. It's the natural reflex to pick up whatever the fuck that is.

It's heavy. And it'll require both hands.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[What you can't hear is him screaming NOOOOOOOOOO in his head. He reaches for the box at the same time and clamps a hand over it]

I don't like tool chests. They give people the idea that you're handy.

[whitetwoguns]

[Larry's got a paw on that box as well.]

So you hide tools? There's somethin' wrong with you.

[As for this? What the fuck is this box if it isn't tools?]

What the fuck is this? [It wasn't here when he and Freddy left.]

[pinkeffinprofessional]

It's just something I needed to keep safe.

[Because he knows if he says its private he'll get the crap kicked out of him if White opens the box]

Don't worry about it. Get the saw and start sawing.

[whitetwoguns]

[All the same it means, let's open it. Now. Especially when he's got a strange hope in him that it'll be...]

Holy fucking shit!

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Shit]

Well, here we fucking go.

[He grabs the saw not because he wants to hurt someone but because he refuses to be weaponless if White decides that the next step is to bash his head into the refrigerator over and over]

[whitetwoguns]

You been holding out. After all that we done for you, you've been slinking right under my [our] fucking nose!

[Larry is still stunned by the gleam of that brilliant collection of stones they bled for.]

Just gonna be your fucking secret huh?