[Napkins are there just in case. Really though the reaction wasn't one that he was expecting. Freddy's got a paw patting his back some. Don't want the fella to choke.]
Why you sayin' it?
[Because it sounds as though he'd want it. Even if they've got that whole detail about friends. The gears between Larry's ears are a-turning. He has been sitting and tryign to keep a clear head. Where is this all going?]
[Oof. Thanks, man. He's dabbing his mouth with the napkins, soothed moreso by that big old mitt on his back.]
Because he's fucking Captain America. He's Marvel's big blue boyscout. [That's Superman, Dimmy, but even if Larry doesn't get the nickname he ought to know the connotation of a boyscout.] They don't do that kind of thing...
[He'll dish you out another taco for that answer.]
I didn't know what to expect. I mean, didn't see it coming from that guy.
[Or Freddy. It was a hope. Shit, even in himself he wasn't sure if that was a real thing or a deviance for the longest of time. What's one more personal crime to sit with the others?]
That kind of thing though-? You mean fucking more than one person?
[They've talked about it before so why is it something to taper off on? Something else is sitting in the room here.]
[Oh hell he had more to say on that but the way the old bear is snuffling around the elephant this fox just wants to crawl into a hole and hide. Suck it up, Newendyke, grow some balls.]
D'you think it's weird?
[Okay not quite what he had in mind to begin with but it's a start.]
My whole age group knows the word but swapping's a little more 'in'.
[He's teasing you, Lawrence Dimick. It's one tiny drop of Freddy humor in a bucket of Freddy...something or other.]
I mean what do you really think about it? Can you take it or leave it?
[The kid won't dare say something like does it bother the old man because that would assume he's been indulging Freddy and hating it the whole time. He thinks Larry would speak up much sooner than that.]
[Before plopping a paw on Freddy's knee he has the consideration to make sure there's no fishy taco grease on his fingers. It actually is above the knee. His thumb can rub at his kneecap.]
Hah hah. [Humor or no humor that touch hits the spot. Without even thinking much he's already leaning a little closer towards Lawrence Dimick.] I don't know, I mean I think he's weird for being a virgin but maybe I'm the weird one.
[I'm because he's not stupid enough to have forgotten fucking in threes and fours and fives was Freddy's idea.]
[The old man takes this to mean that Steve is a virgin of the second kind rather than the all kind. His paw is not going to go anywhere, especially with that leaning.]
What makes you weird? Having a few goes with other people?
[Freddy lead the way and the old man followed right along without protest.]
More people do it, that's why they got clubs. It's not something people are willing to talk about, you know.
[Because he's gonna have to spell it on out for the old man. All of these short answers and answers of questions in responds to his questions is not really easing or getting anywhere.]
Are you saying that's what you set your teeth on now and that's what's gonna cut it?
[Oh God oh God cough it up, Newendyke, you started this now you have to see it through. He's having a hard time meeting Larry eye to eye despite being taken by the shoulders. Freddy wets his lips.]
Dropping by that place...I ain't ever done anything like that in my whole fucking life and I loved it. What if I wanna drop by once a month, see what I can pick up? I don't mind being the weird guy, Larry, but I really fuckin' mind if it don't make you feel too good about it.
[Truth for truth, honesty for honesty. Brown eyes aren't pulling on away. He's trying to piece together this conversation from what he talked over with the captain. That man's at the start, Freddy here was there how long ago?]
...stop by for action there?
[Don't go and have your tone drop like that Dimmy. He swallows and poses his on kind of a question.]
This ain't about how I only got one round at a time, right?
[Or being older, being the first for the kid. The thorny barb of jealousy is underfoot. And for a moment Larry nearly resents the suggestion before he pulls back on the reins and hard. Sure they did put a pause on what they started, that can't have possibly been enough time for a man like Freddy Newendyke to figure out what he wants. A slow and easy exhale out of his nose is calming as he waits for an answer.]
[Too late he can hear it in Larry's tone of voice. He's a cop remember? Not just any cop, he's a detective. Sure he hasn't been a detective for very long but facts are facts. If only Freddy could handle this as well as he handles calls on patrol.]
No, that's not it. You're fine the way you are, man. I like you the way you are.
[Now listen to the kid's tone of voice. He really fucking means that, his sincerity is one hundred percent genuine.] I don't know...I think about it--but I always wanna come home here.
[Before he can say anything at all that might fuck shit up, he'd rather show his relief. Don't go squirming or moving away. Dimick closes the distance between them to press his lips to Freddy's.]
Sorry. Okay. That wasn't how I meant for it to be.
[Except that's how it is. He wants to keep at the same pace, he wants to always be what revs up his engines.]
Is that what you wanna do, tough guy? Have...have some kind of wildcard days were we go out on our own?
[Please see that he's pushing through his own bullshit, kid. Don't go pulling on back while he's reaching for you.]
[His lips purse in response, accepting that soft kiss and not retreating from him at all. In fact the gesture possibly says a lot more than their words can. No matter how stupid they say any of this shit they still want to keep this closeness intact. Jesus, Newendyke, how can you want to keep this all to yourself and still even remotely hint at fucking around? Selfish and greedy, maybe.]
I don't know that sounds kinda...scheduling, sounds fixed. [But Lawrence Dimick likes that, doesn't he? He's the man with all the lists.] I'm--I'm tryin' to figure what I like, what makes me me, who I really am, so you don't get stuck with someone you thought you knew.
[Like a cop. Like all his ex-girlfriends. But he's only saying this because he really really really likes Lawrence Dimick who deserves the best despite having broken the kid's ribs and face once.]
[Lists and calenders make him feel like he knows what's going on even though he doesn't. It's a sort of compulsion to keep track of things, jot down notes. He's got a little black book when network devices keep track of names and numbers for people. The old man nods and listens.]
That ain't bad, man. Figuring out who you are and what you want shouldn't ever be about what's wrong or what's right when you're trying to see the difference.
[Mighty fine words there, old man. He wets his lips.]
I love the man I know and I trust him.
[And Dimick hasn't been a sharing, open relationship sorta man in a coon's age. Can he? Stupid question. He wants to keep Freddy. And truly, would it be bad to venture on out for a catch of the day? That could mean tits.]
It sounds real bad in a hideously stupid sounding kind of way when I say it. But thanks.
[There's just no finesse or slick fast talking facts checked spin to it unlike the way Freddy can talk about the Fantastic Four or Speed Racer. He wishes he could talk about this with that much authority on the subject. Regardless of all that, Larry's remark brings a grateful smile to Freddy's face.]
I care about you a lot too. [Now it's Freddy's turn to pat pat Larry's paw.] Not a while and not often. Here and there, a lot today.
[Steve Rogers might not know jack shit about how to do the deed but he sure as hell knows a lot about conviction, focus, and dedication.]
[Care. Okay. He can do with care. C'mon Dimick. Cut the guy a break. Shit. It's not the end of the world for Christ's sake. When Freddy smiles it's just another sign that this is another route, not the end of the road.]
It's okay to go talking about it with me. If we're weird, then at least we're weird in twos so it's not like it's some solitary happening.
[So that they can be working on out whatever's gonna be together. There are plenty of tacos. The coke may not last two long.]
I've had two dicks in me more often with you than with anybody.
[When he says it like that Freddy just wants to grin and drool. That's exactly what he means by being considered weird. Shouldn't he be raging fucking jealous? Shouldn't he be eyeballing the old man if he were to say half the shit that comes out of the kid's mouth.]
And I'm fuckin' happy I can talk to you about seriously ridiculous shit.
[Except it's not ridiculous, he means what he says even though it comes out garbled. Freddy craves that firm grasp, the one he believes Larry has, Steve has, Eames has, Stephen too. He won't get it without flexing his fingers first. He knows he doesn't want to fit in a box but he can't describe his own silhouette. That's something he wants to be able to do, for Larry and for himself. This isn't what they mean when they say you know you're a cop when you don't know how not to be one but somehow the shoe fits.]
Nobody's ever given me the kind of confidence you do. [That's not quite true, a sense of standing for right and wrong is innate in Freddy Newendyke, it just always seems to come out the most with regards, however direct or indirect, to Lawrence Dimick.]
[Maybe it would be different if Larry suggested it. Thinking on it right now, after the club jaunt it's not such a big step. Just...one in a direction the old man hasn't had his eyes open to. He's had time to fuck around. It has been enjoyable.]
I wouldn't have it any other way. How else are we supposed to live together and feel things out?
[Now, this is how he's approaching the issue bright and fresh. So. Heaven help the old bear to keep sight of what's important and not get swayed by his own jealousy. It's a matter of trust.]
Sounds like other people are full of bullshit.
[Pat, patting of paws.]
If we're gonna do this [we, Freddy, we] we should lay down a few guidelines.
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Why you sayin' it?
[Because it sounds as though he'd want it. Even if they've got that whole detail about friends. The gears between Larry's ears are a-turning. He has been sitting and tryign to keep a clear head. Where is this all going?]
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Because he's fucking Captain America. He's Marvel's big blue boyscout. [That's Superman, Dimmy, but even if Larry doesn't get the nickname he ought to know the connotation of a boyscout.] They don't do that kind of thing...
[Not like you, Newendyke.]
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[He'll dish you out another taco for that answer.]
I didn't know what to expect. I mean, didn't see it coming from that guy.
[Or Freddy. It was a hope. Shit, even in himself he wasn't sure if that was a real thing or a deviance for the longest of time. What's one more personal crime to sit with the others?]
That kind of thing though-? You mean fucking more than one person?
[They've talked about it before so why is it something to taper off on? Something else is sitting in the room here.]
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[Oh hell he had more to say on that but the way the old bear is snuffling around the elephant this fox just wants to crawl into a hole and hide. Suck it up, Newendyke, grow some balls.]
D'you think it's weird?
[Okay not quite what he had in mind to begin with but it's a start.]
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[Except for old time swingers. Snuff, snuff, snuffling as he goes.]
Weird like how? It's fucking for one thing.
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[He's teasing you, Lawrence Dimick. It's one tiny drop of Freddy humor in a bucket of Freddy...something or other.]
I mean what do you really think about it? Can you take it or leave it?
[The kid won't dare say something like does it bother the old man because that would assume he's been indulging Freddy and hating it the whole time. He thinks Larry would speak up much sooner than that.]
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[Thin lips form the word to try it on for size. Another sip of his coked up booze.]
What's there to think about? I like it now and then, not all the time. Kinda gets a thrill on in there.
[Where is this going? Brown eyes are looking on at the man beside him as he props an elbow on the counter.]
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[Aw hell look at those brown eyes and the way they're eyeballing him with all that warmth and patience.]
Well I'm no boyscout...
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[Before plopping a paw on Freddy's knee he has the consideration to make sure there's no fishy taco grease on his fingers. It actually is above the knee. His thumb can rub at his kneecap.]
Nah. You're a cop, remember...
[A little humor except nobody is laughing.]
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[I'm because he's not stupid enough to have forgotten fucking in threes and fours and fives was Freddy's idea.]
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What makes you weird? Having a few goes with other people?
[Freddy lead the way and the old man followed right along without protest.]
More people do it, that's why they got clubs. It's not something people are willing to talk about, you know.
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Yeah, that.
[A nod.] I know. [Man up, Newendyke. Green eyes look up.] Think there's such a thing as liking it too much?
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[Because he's gonna have to spell it on out for the old man. All of these short answers and answers of questions in responds to his questions is not really easing or getting anywhere.]
Are you saying that's what you set your teeth on now and that's what's gonna cut it?
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[Leaning back now but not out from under his touch. Look at Freddy's cheeks flushing red.]
Too much is when it starts bein' about one guy and not the two, I guess...
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[Two paws now. One might be more greasy and it's only because he's gonna take this man my the shoulders and try to cut on through the bullshit.]
Tell me what you mean.
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Dropping by that place...I ain't ever done anything like that in my whole fucking life and I loved it. What if I wanna drop by once a month, see what I can pick up? I don't mind being the weird guy, Larry, but I really fuckin' mind if it don't make you feel too good about it.
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...stop by for action there?
[Don't go and have your tone drop like that Dimmy. He swallows and poses his on kind of a question.]
This ain't about how I only got one round at a time, right?
[Or being older, being the first for the kid. The thorny barb of jealousy is underfoot. And for a moment Larry nearly resents the suggestion before he pulls back on the reins and hard. Sure they did put a pause on what they started, that can't have possibly been enough time for a man like Freddy Newendyke to figure out what he wants. A slow and easy exhale out of his nose is calming as he waits for an answer.]
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No, that's not it. You're fine the way you are, man. I like you the way you are.
[Now listen to the kid's tone of voice. He really fucking means that, his sincerity is one hundred percent genuine.] I don't know...I think about it--but I always wanna come home here.
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Sorry. Okay. That wasn't how I meant for it to be.
[Except that's how it is. He wants to keep at the same pace, he wants to always be what revs up his engines.]
Is that what you wanna do, tough guy? Have...have some kind of wildcard days were we go out on our own?
[Please see that he's pushing through his own bullshit, kid. Don't go pulling on back while he's reaching for you.]
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[His lips purse in response, accepting that soft kiss and not retreating from him at all. In fact the gesture possibly says a lot more than their words can. No matter how stupid they say any of this shit they still want to keep this closeness intact. Jesus, Newendyke, how can you want to keep this all to yourself and still even remotely hint at fucking around? Selfish and greedy, maybe.]
I don't know that sounds kinda...scheduling, sounds fixed. [But Lawrence Dimick likes that, doesn't he? He's the man with all the lists.] I'm--I'm tryin' to figure what I like, what makes me me, who I really am, so you don't get stuck with someone you thought you knew.
[Like a cop. Like all his ex-girlfriends. But he's only saying this because he really really really likes Lawrence Dimick who deserves the best despite having broken the kid's ribs and face once.]
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That ain't bad, man. Figuring out who you are and what you want shouldn't ever be about what's wrong or what's right when you're trying to see the difference.
[Mighty fine words there, old man. He wets his lips.]
I love the man I know and I trust him.
[And Dimick hasn't been a sharing, open relationship sorta man in a coon's age. Can he? Stupid question. He wants to keep Freddy. And truly, would it be bad to venture on out for a catch of the day? That could mean tits.]
Have you been thinkin' about this for awhile?
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[There's just no finesse or slick fast talking facts checked spin to it unlike the way Freddy can talk about the Fantastic Four or Speed Racer. He wishes he could talk about this with that much authority on the subject. Regardless of all that, Larry's remark brings a grateful smile to Freddy's face.]
I care about you a lot too. [Now it's Freddy's turn to pat pat Larry's paw.] Not a while and not often. Here and there, a lot today.
[Steve Rogers might not know jack shit about how to do the deed but he sure as hell knows a lot about conviction, focus, and dedication.]
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It's okay to go talking about it with me. If we're weird, then at least we're weird in twos so it's not like it's some solitary happening.
[So that they can be working on out whatever's gonna be together. There are plenty of tacos. The coke may not last two long.]
I've had two dicks in me more often with you than with anybody.
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And I'm fuckin' happy I can talk to you about seriously ridiculous shit.
[Except it's not ridiculous, he means what he says even though it comes out garbled. Freddy craves that firm grasp, the one he believes Larry has, Steve has, Eames has, Stephen too. He won't get it without flexing his fingers first. He knows he doesn't want to fit in a box but he can't describe his own silhouette. That's something he wants to be able to do, for Larry and for himself. This isn't what they mean when they say you know you're a cop when you don't know how not to be one but somehow the shoe fits.]
Nobody's ever given me the kind of confidence you do. [That's not quite true, a sense of standing for right and wrong is innate in Freddy Newendyke, it just always seems to come out the most with regards, however direct or indirect, to Lawrence Dimick.]
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I wouldn't have it any other way. How else are we supposed to live together and feel things out?
[Now, this is how he's approaching the issue bright and fresh. So. Heaven help the old bear to keep sight of what's important and not get swayed by his own jealousy. It's a matter of trust.]
Sounds like other people are full of bullshit.
[Pat, patting of paws.]
If we're gonna do this [we, Freddy, we] we should lay down a few guidelines.
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