But I ain't no madman.

[whitetwoguns]

"Sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a nice day."

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[whitetwoguns]

[Buckling the big leather straps under that horsey belly. There we are. Larry straightens and gives Freddy a squinting eye.]

Before. He might have bopped you, that wasn't very nice. He's no asshole though.

[All that in order. He takes the reins.]

We'll mount him out in the open.

[orangetoughguy]

[Why the squint? Heh heh heh.]

Alright. Hey I trust you you're the one learning how to do all this.

[Freddy waves a hand.]

[whitetwoguns]

I'll go first, then you.

[He is pretty sure that's how that goes. They haven't discussed how to get two riders on at once. At least he'll be able to help from up top. That seems like the right idea.

Larry leads Nick and Freddy close to the entrance of an easy trail. Yeah. They'll do a trail not the arena this time. One, a two and three the old man heaves himself on up.]

Sorta gets easier the more you do it.

[Even though he is scooting into the saddle some to sit comfortably and putting his feet in the western saddle foot rests.]

Okay. Y'ready?

[His free paw is offered up.]

What you can do is put your foot on mine then come on up.

[Or else he'll have Freddy climb a short fence and the old man will pull on up to pick him up there...]

[orangetoughguy]

[Hiding the smile that appears on his face when Larry mounts himself up on the saddle is hard. Are they two guys who met for a diamond heist or two guys living a rock and roll western fantasy? Or both? Is it possible to be both?]

I'll bet.

[Look whose turn it is now.] Yeah, I'm ready...

[Mostly. No he doesn't need a fence, thank you very much, this is a kid who had to train climbing all kinds of walls and fences. First he's got to give Nick the eye though, as if he can silently tell the horse not to move while he's trying to mount. Fff. Okay here goes nothing, Freddy grabs that paw and hauls himself up, only narrowly missing kicking Larry.]

[whitetwoguns]

There. You got it.

[Not in the balls, not in the balls why oh why is that a thing now. Phew. Crisis averted! For two fucks that met going to steal people they sure have a great life.]

Scoot back some.

[So they're right up against one another on the other side of the saddle horn.]

There.

[He'll now put an arm around Freddy's belly to give it a pat.]

Not so bad, right?

[orangetoughguy]

[Oof no no kick to the balls. He's the last person who wants to risk damage to that precious package, thank you very much. Freddy scoots back as directed to rest flush up against the bear.]

Good enough?

[Oh. There are arms going around him. No that's not so bad at all. In fact it's very very nice.] You been on this trail before?

[whitetwoguns]

[Very nice. Tap, tap of his heels to Nick's side. Oh. Now they're ready. He was helping trim the weeds.]

Yeah. Not rocky. We'll take it slow anyways.

[Tug, tug on the reins to reaffirm that they're heading out. The horse gets the hint and off they go...at a leisurely pace.]

[orangetoughguy]

[Oh that's why the view from up top was so clear. Now that massive head looms in the way. Freckled hands aren't sure if they should be holding onto the horn or the horse himself.]

Whoa. He's got kind of a sputter huh?

[It's the trotting or whatever it's called. To Freddy is feels like a car engine bumbling along in first gear. Not so bad really.]

[whitetwoguns]

He's being a lazy ass. He can do better. Don't drag your feet, Nick. We said slow.

[Larry reinforces this with a tug on the reins. There we go. It's a bit more smooth because his pace is evened. A purposeful trot.]

I find it relaxing. The only problem is that you can't smoke on the trails.

[orangetoughguy]

You come out and do this a lot?

[The kid asks and it's no trick question, honest. He just wants to know if he does and how relaxing it must be because the image of Lawrence Dimick having a casual ride on a trail just soaking up the world around him is quite charming.]