whitetwoguns | But I ain't no madman.

[So there he stands at the stall.]

Nick!

[He is about to wrestle the door open when a head dips on over. Larry startles and then immediately puts his paws all over that long face.]

Goddammit. You fucking son of a bitch.

[There are more obscenities. The more he speaks though the more they sound like endearments to the animal that's putting up with the touching.]

. . . . .

[Freddy can't help but laugh. Yes, sorry Lawrence Dimick, the kid is laughing over those obscenities. Honestly it's because the outcome itself is a positive one, so why not? The laughing sort of stops though when that long face shifts and knocks him right in his nose.]

Hey.

You big idiot.

[That one is for Nick. Larry shoves that snout for good measure while he takes a hold on Freddy to be sure he's not reeling. He's grinning so damn much his eyes are about half lidded. Crows feet are firmly planted with this sort of an expression. He ain't crying or nothing. The dust and shit has made his eyes water juuust a little.]

Easy on the kid.

[No blood, right? Even though his four legged friend has the spotlight he's taking time to be sure he's unharmed.]

[No, no blood. Fff. Freddy rubs at his face, thankfully having not been knocked hard enough to have to reel back.]

Good to see he's doing okay, huh?

[He concedes then reaches out to pat the big old equine on the nose.]

[When that flappy hand connects with his snout is a good time for Nick to snort. Larry pats too under his eye, close to his ear.]

If I didn't know any better I'd say you pulled that on your own.

[Except he doesn't. And really, Nick is just a horse. Patting paws end up touching on Freddy.]

Y'mind if we stay a minute or two?

[He's no shape-shifting red-butted big-beaked bird...but Freddy can already feel an equivalent stare being levied his way. It's the kind of stare that says I'm just a horse with an undercurrent of I know how to get my way. Fff. Those paws touching on him are great.]

Naw man, I don't mind. [Freddy waves a hand.] Hell saddle him up if you want.

[Did you get that, Nick? He's permitting the old man to get his ride on. Does the horse have that kind of power? This fox-faced fiend thinks not.]

C'mon.

[In that case, he unlatches the stall door and invites himself in now that he's got permission. The old man doesn't even think about that bygone toucan. Birds and horses are like apples and oranges.]

I oughta just talk to some people and get you turned into glue.

[He doesn't mean a word that he's saying. Especially since he doesn't officially own this beast of burden.]

You want on too?

[Heh heh heh--hey wait. Freddy thinks about Sam from time to time, more like when a color or a certain sound reminds him of the alien bird. He only wonders and hopes that the guy is happy wherever he is though, no need to get another bird.]

He can make it happen.

[Freddy says to the horse for good measure heh heh heh--hey wait. He quirks a brow at the horse, then at Larry, then back at the horse, and back at Larry.]

Is that a good idea? [Translate: can Lawrence Dimick control the beast so Nickel doesn't 'accidentally' nudge him off.]

[Hard not to when you see vibrant colors or get a hankering for some tropical fruit. Larry doesn't think that his love for Nick is the same thing as what Freddy and Sam had. The man and the bird together were good, good chums.]

He's big enough for the both of us.

[Like a ride on Freddy's bike only...living.]

...Are you sure?

[Freddy asks, giving the horse the caramel green eye. Well he is a big horse, and he seems to like the old man, what could go wrong?]

Do I get to sit in front or back?

[That's a good place to start, right. Nickel can't do shit if Larry's the one in danger of falling off.]

Why wouldn't I be?

[Really, kid? They did have a rough race a while back. That was different though. They'll be on one trusted horse together. He is getting the reins and is going to saddle up the bastard in a moment.]

Front. I'll be right behind, ya.

[Messing with the gear some he waits a bit before asking.]

...do you not like horses much?

[It's a-okay if he don't. It's his life. Mr. White wasn't wild about toucans.]

No horses ain't done me wrong, but this guy. [He points at the long face.] Totally just whacked me in the nose.

[Yes, he's talking like Nickel might have done it on purpose. A horse with a will to unsaddle Freddy. The kid's obviously never actually had a pet beyond the toucan.]

I had a girlfriend with a cat who hates my guts.

[Not unlike Pink's, still he intends to play it off as no big deal. No big deal because no horse is gonna get the best of Freddy Newendyke.]

A minute ago, yeah. He isn't out to get you. That was being on the careless side.

[Small blanket and then he's lugging the saddle. Freddy has time to think it through. The old man would love nothing more than to ride with both of them. He's holding out for the right answer. Waiting. Waiting.]

Cats are fucking shit. I'm surprised they like anybody. Horses are herd animals, they are used to getting along with more than one person at a time.

I guess...

[That's a yes, I'll ride with you. Freddy says though he's still eyeballing that long face. Watching Larry prep the big old lug though it satisfying, he really does like this horse and he seems to take the riding lessons seriously. Not that the kid ever had any doubt he would...not a lot.]

Did you learn that before or after you figured out he likes you?

[Flappy hands flap, but it's really just a joke.]

[Buckling the big leather straps under that horsey belly. There we are. Larry straightens and gives Freddy a squinting eye.]

Before. He might have bopped you, that wasn't very nice. He's no asshole though.

[All that in order. He takes the reins.]

We'll mount him out in the open.

[Why the squint? Heh heh heh.]

Alright. Hey I trust you you're the one learning how to do all this.

[Freddy waves a hand.]

I'll go first, then you.

[He is pretty sure that's how that goes. They haven't discussed how to get two riders on at once. At least he'll be able to help from up top. That seems like the right idea.

Larry leads Nick and Freddy close to the entrance of an easy trail. Yeah. They'll do a trail not the arena this time. One, a two and three the old man heaves himself on up.]

Sorta gets easier the more you do it.

[Even though he is scooting into the saddle some to sit comfortably and putting his feet in the western saddle foot rests.]

Okay. Y'ready?

[His free paw is offered up.]

What you can do is put your foot on mine then come on up.

[Or else he'll have Freddy climb a short fence and the old man will pull on up to pick him up there...]

[Hiding the smile that appears on his face when Larry mounts himself up on the saddle is hard. Are they two guys who met for a diamond heist or two guys living a rock and roll western fantasy? Or both? Is it possible to be both?]

I'll bet.

[Look whose turn it is now.] Yeah, I'm ready...

[Mostly. No he doesn't need a fence, thank you very much, this is a kid who had to train climbing all kinds of walls and fences. First he's got to give Nick the eye though, as if he can silently tell the horse not to move while he's trying to mount. Fff. Okay here goes nothing, Freddy grabs that paw and hauls himself up, only narrowly missing kicking Larry.]

There. You got it.

[Not in the balls, not in the balls why oh why is that a thing now. Phew. Crisis averted! For two fucks that met going to steal people they sure have a great life.]

Scoot back some.

[So they're right up against one another on the other side of the saddle horn.]

There.

[He'll now put an arm around Freddy's belly to give it a pat.]

Not so bad, right?

[Oof no no kick to the balls. He's the last person who wants to risk damage to that precious package, thank you very much. Freddy scoots back as directed to rest flush up against the bear.]

Good enough?

[Oh. There are arms going around him. No that's not so bad at all. In fact it's very very nice.] You been on this trail before?

[Very nice. Tap, tap of his heels to Nick's side. Oh. Now they're ready. He was helping trim the weeds.]

Yeah. Not rocky. We'll take it slow anyways.

[Tug, tug on the reins to reaffirm that they're heading out. The horse gets the hint and off they go...at a leisurely pace.]

[Oh that's why the view from up top was so clear. Now that massive head looms in the way. Freckled hands aren't sure if they should be holding onto the horn or the horse himself.]

Whoa. He's got kind of a sputter huh?

[It's the trotting or whatever it's called. To Freddy is feels like a car engine bumbling along in first gear. Not so bad really.]

He's being a lazy ass. He can do better. Don't drag your feet, Nick. We said slow.

[Larry reinforces this with a tug on the reins. There we go. It's a bit more smooth because his pace is evened. A purposeful trot.]

I find it relaxing. The only problem is that you can't smoke on the trails.

You come out and do this a lot?

[The kid asks and it's no trick question, honest. He just wants to know if he does and how relaxing it must be because the image of Lawrence Dimick having a casual ride on a trail just soaking up the world around him is quite charming.]

But I ain't no madman.

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