whitetwoguns | But I ain't no madman.

What?

[Stir stir stir. Flip. He's not quite sure what he means by a pill just yet. An enhancement pill of all things--wait.]

A pill for...a pill to keep it up. You took a penis pill!

[Thank god they live alone in a big apartment with thick walls huh??]

Y'don't need a prescription for it.

[Not all of the time, certainly not this time. The cringe that jolts right on to the pit of his stomach isn't all because he steps wrong.]

Told you I tried something.

[Except he never quite got to it.]

Jesus Larry you didn't have to do that. [Whoops this egg is burning, he turns the stove top down.] Now you've over done it.

[His body, not the eggs.]

I'm not some crippled old man.

[It comes out like the crack of a whip.]

I'll just change the dosage. Won't be as bad next time.

[Now he'll try and retreat to the table. All that and Freddy says he didn't have to?]

That's why you don't need it, Jesus.

[Huff. He turns back to the eggs to put them between pieces of toast.] What made you wanna take'em anyway.

[Huff! It's not lost on Freddy how prior to this they were reaping the benefits.]

[The mass of frustrated Dimick sits heavily in one of their kitchen chairs.]

I told you.

[When it might have seemed like a dreamed up story like an encounter that never was with an observatory egg head.]

That curse were we fucked for hours got me thinking. I hadn't been able to do that in goddamn years. I been wanting to just bounce back and go for more. Be more active, maybe keep up with you.

[Larry rubs his forehead.]

The side effects will go away.

[What? What? Just because--what? The guilt is soaking with ease. Still he turns around to point at the old man, at him then himself.]

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel like shit right now.

[It's a challenge because he thinks Larry does feel like shit (physically...) and Larry wouldn't lie to him about it.]

[Both hands in the air, not a flail or a claw but about all he can do to reflect the exasperation.]

I didn't want it to go like this. It was just supposed to fucking work and we'd be cool!

[He kinda bangs both hands on the table a little too hard. You don't need to make everything hurt right now, Larry.]

I fucked up.

[Not looking at the kid, he admits it.]

I feel like shit.

[There's a slight flinch for those big old paws banging down but it's more over the sound than anything else.]

Were you gonna tell me then? Only if it made you feel like a million bucks?? [Breathe, Newendyke, put that egg on toast together. He scoops out the overeasy on one and the scrambled on the other.] Is that what you wanna do? Fuck for hours.

[Back to sipping at his coffee. It's warm bitterness have a small amount of calming.]

I was gonna tell you. Didn't get the chance I wanted...and I figured it'd be best when we weren't fucking.

[Which happened a good portion yesterday and right this morning. How about that.]

...if I could with a few to spare, yeah.

[Admitting with honest frankness.]

And if not, then at least one more round. Didn't it feel good t'you at all?

[These freckled cheeks go red because hah it's the truth. He had the time of his fucking life with Larry yesterday and this morning, though that doesn't mean Freddy's not a little exhausted either.]

That's not the point.

[It felt very very good.]

It's not--not something I need, you know. It was nice but I don't want you feeling like crap. [He brings the toast and eggs to the table and looks down at Mr. White.] I'm not insatiable.

[Shit this is a more embarrassing subject for the both of em. Larry doesn't blush. Maybe Freddy can read his own discomfort...the type that's not from shooting pains. The minute the plate is down he reaches for his hand.]

I might be.

[Insatiable. Both paws for one hand.]

...I just thought I'd bring something new to the table.

[Up his own game. Man is it all coming together to be more clumsy and detrimental to their smooth ride for two guys that almost died in a fire.]

And to make the most of our time, man.

I wish you told me.

[He shrugs lower hanging shoulders. At least now he sort of knows how it must have felt when he dealt a blow of wanting to fuck other people just to bring something new to the table thinking Larry wouldn't want to be involved. That was pretty dumb, about as dumb as getting mad at the old man so soon after the fire.]

You want to be the kind of guy who can fuck all day and all night?

[Perhaps can is a little different from would. Freddy wouldn't mind that sort of superpowered fantasy either, but would he be using it all the time? Even a young kid like him needs time for his other hobbies.]

[Brown eyes are down cast to the floor. This one is gonna sound like bullshit. They're tough guys, tough guys who can speak the truth.]

I wanted to surprise you.

[Did Freddy wear that gold ring on his left hand. Yeah. That's right. It's coming back to him now. They bought drinks. Steppenwolf played. A moment like right now was a wild fever dream back then.]

To be able to when I want to be.

[He adds with a steady voice. Now he's fixing to look into those eyes.]

You sure got that.

[A surprise out of Freddy. Hey look there are eggs and toast on the table. Eat up.]

Is it that important to you, Larry?

[Freddy reaches out, freckled palm framing the side of his old man's face. Come on now, eye to eye.]

[Why does it gotta seem like he's chasing the specter of his youth? That's not how the old man wants to be, especially at the kid's side. Fuck, isn't his age and experience part of what drew them together?

Eye to eye.]

Seemed easy when I thought about it. [As a thought, a notion.] It's important to me to be in this every which way I can. If this is how if feels all the time then...there might be a reason I work like I do.

What're you saying, Larry?

[His thumb rubs against those crinkling crows feet. The old man has them, no denying it. Look at this kid move over to sit in his lap now, a near thirty year old man lounging in a fifty year old's lap. It shouldn't hurt, uh, right? He's sore in the back and legs, not the lap, or something.]

Tell me what you're looking for.

[Right here in his arms is one hell of a guy. For a moment his eye squints more, of course it makes his crows feet deepen. The weight on him does nothing other than add some pressure. Nothing he doesn't do on his own.]

I'm saying... [Wets his lips, still looking at his younger, freckled mug] I love fuckin' you. Just another way of showing how y'make me feel.

[No brainer in a big way. He's still gotta use his words and so he doesn't wait on this point.]

Who the hell knows about time or fucking anything here, I wanna be sure to give you [their partnership] all I got and not hold back. Make the most of it. That's what I was trying to do. I don't wanna be in another smoke filled room and be wishing I'd have done more in case I die.

[Everybody dies sometime. Here, they die and bounce back sometimes. It seemed pretty real when they experienced it.]

I know this ain't my fault I fuck like I'm fifty [because that's what he is] or that you didn't ask for this...

[Out of his own frustration his eyes are trying to drift.]

I love fucking you too.

[Freddy repeats just because it bears repeating, even if it's a no brainer. He leans some of his weight against Larry's shoulder. Sure he's no little lady but he knows how it can make the big guy feel, letting him know this kid does look to him as a protecting figure. It goes both ways anyway for all Freddy Newendyke's stature might lead people to think differently.]

I get it, baby. I'm not getting bent out of shape. [He was but he's calmed down.] I don't wanna see you pushing yourself...I know you can handle some tough fucking shit, man, but if you don't have to then you shouldn't. [Don't drift, Dimmy. Freckled fingers tip that jaw back this way.] You get a prescription for that stuff?

[It's not a trick question. Honest.]

[Simple, light touch has a big man like Lawrence Dimick moving this way and that with ease. All the danger of a trained bear, except he is no danger at all to lash out physically in a moment like this. All the peace, love and understanding a criminal could want. A tough LAPD cop sit in his lap.

Seriously, Dimmy. What more could you want?]

Don't want you bent outta shape.

[And Freddy wants him in his own. He turns his head a little to try to plant a kiss on his hand.]

Naw. I didn't.

[He loosens his fingers and opens his palm, feeling the gesture and just knowing by reading his body language Larry means to extend that touch. Even when he can't quite read the big guy he trusts him enough to always be within arm's reach. He won't hurt Freddy, at least not with malice. It's a no brainer that giant bear paws and sharp fox teeth can hurt like a bitch, only when they mean it.]

Do you need one? It's not gonna mess you up? If you wanna keep this going I want you doing it right. [He concedes as much as it pains him to think he might be enabling the guy's midlife crisis.] But I'll tell you now...I ain't gonna fuck you like that all the time.

[They're in tune most ways. You can't force the rest. Even with some pills.

Is it really so important?]

I dunno. I read the bottle and everything. ...didn't think there'd be much more to it.

[Says the man who has seldom had any sort of medical care. There it is though, that cool as fuck reassurance.]

Why? Was it too much for you?

[There's the slightest twinkle in his eye even with the subject matter. Really though, kid. He wants to know.]

It didn't say anything about aches and pains?

[Could Larry read the small print?? He's well aware of the man's lack of care for medical care, that's why there's this fox to help keep him in line.]

Hah hah hah. No. [He pats his shoulder. Hard.] I got on you this morning, didn't I? I don't need it all the time, that's all.

[A guy as sexed up as Freddy Newendyke, telling Lawrence Dimick he doesn't need to be. Then again the kid doesn't go dragging him out in search of a third dick all that regularly.

Possible side effects. And I wasn't thinking this when I was thinking aches or pains.

[A son of a bitch with scars and tattoos makes him almost as though anything else would be trivial.]

Y'sure did get on me.

[Heh. Ahem. Don't think about that because he could get it up if he thought on it long enough. No, they don't drag in more dick on a day to day basis.]

...I wanted to give it a try, man. This shouldn't be a day to day thing. We both got other shit to do.

[And as great as fucking is sometimes laying about as they do or heading out to see the sights about town or run errands together, that's quality.]

[It doesn't help he's sitting in the big guy's lap, at least Freddy's not grinding against him. That's just cruel.]

Can you give me a head's up, next time?

[Pat pat to a clean shaven(?) jaw.] So I know what I'm doing for the next couple hours?

[Maybe there's something good out of this; Freddy can smoke a cigar and watch Larry pound the shit out of some other piece of ass before having himself a go at the old bear. There's something salvageable here, not a total loss. But Lawrence Dimick's health takes precedent, they might have to fiddle with the dosage or give it up entirely if another incident has unfavorable side effects.]

But I ain't no madman.

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